Last night Emily asked if she could sleep over at a friends house, this has become the norm when Friday is a PA day. So we said yes, and went through the normal routine. "Be on your best behavior listen to her friends Mom and Dad" etc. Well was I shocked when I got the call this morning from Em's friends' Mom, Jen She says "the girls are in trouble" I am like your kidding right cause Em and her friend have been doing these sleepover for awhile and neither of us have ever had any problems. Well apparently Em and her friend decided they could not sleep any more and were up talking. This normally is not a big issue, except #1 it was 4am, #2 they woke Dad and he had to get up at 6:30 for work. Not to mention the little sister age 1 1/2, was also up crying. This giving Em and friend opportunity to stay up as parents could now not hear them over babies cries, So they decided they no longer wanted to chat they wanted to play games.....On the computer. (Which is in the living room where they were sleeping) Yes they did, they went on the Internet to play games. Thankfully they only went on kids sites, but that is still besides the point. After they played games extra quietly as to not be heard they decided to watch TV, So at 6am they went and asked her friends parents if they could have the remote to the TV so they could change the channels.( their other one is lost and are using one universal) Her friend parents freaked. I am surprised that I did not get a phone call right then and there.
So I guess the girls really didn't get much sleep at this sleep over. Well was Em in trouble when she got home I was waiting at the door, we only live about 4 houses apart. She was sent to her room right away I gave her 10 minutes to clean up and put her sleepover things away, As soon as I walked in she started to cry. I didn't yell I just simply asked her to tell me what happened and why. I think this is a technique I have learned from my Mom, sometimes the worst part of the punishment is telling what you did. Oh but believe me that was not the End she had a fun filled PA day of house cleaning, dishes and laundry that she had to do. She also had to tell Craig of her wrong doings. While my daycare kids were playing on the computer and going out in the snow she was regrettably cleaning whatever I happened to find for her. Oh and to bad if she was tired there was no naps and rest times. I think the best part of her punishment in my eyes was that she had to write a letter of apology to her friend parents. (They said they will keep it forever) I think this is the worst thing so far that I have had to deal with, with Emily. I am not looking forward to her Teen years.
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2 comments:
Carrie
I am soooo proud of the good little mother that I raised. Yes, the hardest part of being a parent is trying to find a punishment suitable for the crime. She stole time from her friends parents so you answered in kind - you stole time from her! 'Fessing up is also a good tool. It makes her very responisble for what she did and also uses another good parenting tool - humiliation. I always felt that being accountable for your actions was one of the most powerful childraising tools. By making her admit what she did or didn't do you are making her take responsibility, but you are also giving her a dose of humiliation for having to own up to it. Admitting to our crimes is very difficult to do and if anything it makes a child see a side of themselves that they don't like.
You handled this one very well. You stayed calm, you didn't scream and yell at her in front of the other children. You made her 'fess up. You punished her appropriately by making her give up her time. This was especially appropriate by it being a PA day and by the other children having time to go out and play in the snow and on the computer. Most of all you didn't do what a lot of parents would have done - let her off with just a talking too, or grounded her for an unreasonalbe lenght of time. A long grounding, 1 or more weeks, would have just been an opening for you to cave in a day or two and let her off. That would have set a precedent that she would have used against you in the future. You also did not use the old - 'Wait til you father gets home". It is important to punish as soon as possible, but it is also important to tell the other parent, but to let that parent know that you have dealt with the problem and how. If you wait for dad the threat wears off and the punishment when it comes isn't as effective. Only use that card in very serious crimes and it means a lot more.
Very good Carrie. You are doing a wonderfull job and I am proud of you.
Love - Your mom
PS - your sibs gave me lots of practice, so by the time you came along I had perfected my options on punishment, as I am sure you will agree with.
Mom
Wait, after reading Mom's comment now I gotta go back and reread your entry... I laughed, and am not sure what she did that was wrong... I guess waking up Swayde's dad... (don't tell Em... consistency among us is a must) I might just be too used to tween stuff. I will be in your corner when she keeps this up!! And we all know a sleepover is really a nosleepover, at least those are the ones I remember the most.
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